What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.