“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
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