"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
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