"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
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