“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
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