"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
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