"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae