"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."