“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton