“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin