Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother, concerned at her boy's tears, asked, "What’s the matter little Johnny?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb bang on with the hammer!" said little Johnny through his tears.
His mother was touched by the boy's sensitivity, but didn't like seeing him cry.
"That’s not so serious." She tried to soothe him. "Now I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. That's something to laugh about."
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.
Three married men are sitting in a pool club and arguing over who has the worst marriage.
One of the men says, “I have it the worst. My prudish wife won’t sleep with me more than once a month!. She refuses!"
The other men shake their heads. One of them asks, “what did you do about it?”
The man says “I slept with that horny blonde over there by the pool table. Unlike my wife, she’ll do anything.”
The men laugh.
The second man says, “You think that’s bad? My uptight wife won’t even sleep with me once a year!"
The other men shake their heads and one of them asks, “so, what did you do about it?”
The man says “I got my rocks off with that same slutty blonde over there by the pool table. She’ll literally do any guy."
The men laugh, then the third man says, “That too bad for you guys, but honestly, I definitely have it the worst.”
The men say, “what’s the problem with your wife?”
The man says, “Well for one, she’s always down here playing pool...”
A philosopher, a mathematician, a chemist and a physicist were at coffee shop.
The physicist turns to the chemist sitting next to him and says "You know, chemistry is just applied physics!"
They all laugh a bit at the chemist.
The mathematician turns to the physicist sitting next to him and says "You know, physics is just applied mathematics!"
They all share a laugh at the physicist.
At which point, the philosopher interjects, "And mathematics is just applied philosophy!"
The laughter roars even louder.
The mathematician turns to the philosopher and says: "That's funny. Now shut up and bring me the coffee I ordered."
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