Three married men are sitting in a pool club and arguing over who has the worst marriage.
One of the men says, โI have it the worst. My prudish wife wonโt sleep with me more than once a month!. She refuses!"
The other men shake their heads. One of them asks, โwhat did you do about it?โ
The man says โI slept with that horny blonde over there by the pool table. Unlike my wife, sheโll do anything.โ
The men laugh.
The second man says, โYou think thatโs bad? My uptight wife wonโt even sleep with me once a year!"
The other men shake their heads and one of them asks, โso, what did you do about it?โ
The man says โI got my rocks off with that same slutty blonde over there by the pool table. Sheโll literally do any guy."
The men laugh, then the third man says, โThat too bad for you guys, but honestly, I definitely have it the worst.โ
The men say, โwhatโs the problem with your wife?โ
The man says, โWell for one, sheโs always down here playing pool...โ
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother, concerned at her boy's tears, asked, "Whatโs the matter little Johnny?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb bang on with the hammer!" said little Johnny through his tears.
His mother was touched by the boy's sensitivity, but didn't like seeing him cry.
"Thatโs not so serious." She tried to soothe him. "Now I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldnโt cry at something like that. That's something to laugh about."
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.
A philosopher, a mathematician, a chemist and a physicist were at coffee shop.
The physicist turns to the chemist sitting next to him and says "You know, chemistry is just applied physics!"
They all laugh a bit at the chemist.
The mathematician turns to the physicist sitting next to him and says "You know, physics is just applied mathematics!"
They all share a laugh at the physicist.
At which point, the philosopher interjects, "And mathematics is just applied philosophy!"
The laughter roars even louder.
The mathematician turns to the philosopher and says: "That's funny. Now shut up and bring me the coffee I ordered."
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