Three married men are sitting in a pool club and arguing over who has the worst marriage.
One of the men says, โI have it the worst. My prudish wife wonโt sleep with me more than once a month!. She refuses!"
The other men shake their heads. One of them asks, โwhat did you do about it?โ
The man says โI slept with that horny blonde over there by the pool table. Unlike my wife, sheโll do anything.โ
The men laugh.
The second man says, โYou think thatโs bad? My uptight wife wonโt even sleep with me once a year!"
The other men shake their heads and one of them asks, โso, what did you do about it?โ
The man says โI got my rocks off with that same slutty blonde over there by the pool table. Sheโll literally do any guy."
The men laugh, then the third man says, โThat too bad for you guys, but honestly, I definitely have it the worst.โ
The men say, โwhatโs the problem with your wife?โ
The man says, โWell for one, sheโs always down here playing pool...โ
Canary-birds feed on sugar and seed, Parrots have crackers to crunch; And, as for the poodles, they tell me the noodles Have chickens and cream for their lunch. But thereโs never a question About MY digestionโ Anything does for me!
Cats, youโre aware, can repose in a chair, Chickens can roost upon rails; Puppies are able to sleep in a stable, And oysters can slumber in pails. But no one supposes A poor Camel dozesโ Any place does for me!
...
People would laugh if you rode a giraffe, Or mounted the back of an ox; Itโs nobodyโs habit to ride on a rabbit, Or try to bestraddle a fox. But as for a Camel, heโs Ridden by familiesโ Any load does for me!
My funny guy, when I look at you, Making faces, as you do, To make me giggle, and keep me happy, When Iโm feeling down or sad or cr****, I see someone whoโs man enough To just be silly, instead of tough To give me gladness, bliss and joy, Thatโs my man; thatโs my big boy. Happy birthday to the man Who makes me laugh, because he can.
Iโm sure people make jokes about getting older You politely laugh with a quiet smoulder I know you, always being so polite Jokes about getting older arenโt always right Donโt worry about it, age is just a number Donโt you ever let anyone steal your thunder! Happy Birthday!
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother, concerned at her boy's tears, asked, "Whatโs the matter little Johnny?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb bang on with the hammer!" said little Johnny through his tears.
His mother was touched by the boy's sensitivity, but didn't like seeing him cry.
"Thatโs not so serious." She tried to soothe him. "Now I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldnโt cry at something like that. That's something to laugh about."
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.
A philosopher, a mathematician, a chemist and a physicist were at coffee shop.
The physicist turns to the chemist sitting next to him and says "You know, chemistry is just applied physics!"
They all laugh a bit at the chemist.
The mathematician turns to the physicist sitting next to him and says "You know, physics is just applied mathematics!"
They all share a laugh at the physicist.
At which point, the philosopher interjects, "And mathematics is just applied philosophy!"
The laughter roars even louder.
The mathematician turns to the philosopher and says: "That's funny. Now shut up and bring me the coffee I ordered."
Subscribe and REMOVE ALL ADS
LOVE our articles but HATE our ads? For only $3.89 per month, enjoy a seamless, ad-free experience that lets you focus on what matters most โ enjoying all of our content, uninterrupted. ๐ 100% Secure Payment ๐ Cancel Anytime, No Strings Attached Unlock a cleaner, faster browsing experience today and gain the freedom to navigate without visual clutter.
Ready for a Ad-Free experience? Upgrade now for just $3.89/month!
To enable your Ad-Free Subscription, please fill the fields below
Thank you for your subscription!
Your subscription was successful, now you can enjoy an ad-free experience!! Note: To make sure you get no ads, please make sure to log in to your account. If you are logged in already, then refresh the page. The subscription can be cancelled at any time.
Login
Already registered? Enter your email address and get full access.