Applied Jokes

I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
A Scientific Roast A philosopher, a mathematician, a chemist and a physicist were at coffee shop. The physicist turns to the chemist sitting next to him and says "You know, chemistry is just applied physics!" They all laugh a bit at the chemist. The mathematician turns to the physicist sitting next to him and says "You know, physics is just applied mathematics!" They all share a laugh at the physicist. At which point, the philosopher interjects, "And mathematics is just applied philosophy!" The laughter roars even louder. The mathematician turns to the philosopher and says: "That's funny. Now shut up and bring me the coffee I ordered."
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.
I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.
The leech, who is good at drawing blood, applied for a job in an art gallery.
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