There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
There once was a girl named Sue. She came down with the case of the flu. She let out a sigh, "My temperature is high, what ever shall I do? Oh my! Oh my! I think I will die. What ever shall I do?"
So, she stumbled out of bed. "I know I'll take some meds. If this the flu, I take an aspirin or two. Then I'll drink some broth and some juice. Oh my! Oh my!" she began to cry. "I think this is acute."
So, she grumbled back to bed and pulled the covers over her head. She let out a sneeze, a cough and a wheeze. "Won't someone help me, please? Oh my! Oh my! Will I survive the case of the crazy flu?"
So, she finally fell asleep. She slept and slept for a week. She tossed and turned, her symptoms have passed. Her temperature normal at last. "Oh my! Oh my! I think I survived this case of the crazy flu."
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
Little Johnny and the Hammer
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother asked, "What’s the matter little Johnny?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb bang on with the hammer!" said little Johnny through his tears.
His mother was touched by the boy's sensitivity, but didn't like seeing him cry.
"That’s not so serious." She tried to soothe him. "Now I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. That's something to laugh about."
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.