My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment. It’s a little flat.
The Talking Clock
Keith was known as a drunk to his friends. One night he was having a housewarming party for his new apartment.
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, Keith led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
"Why, that's the talking clock" the man replied.
"How does it work?"
"Observe." said Keith, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For bloody sake, you bastard, it's 2am in the damn morning!!!"