Jokes > Tags > Go


Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
Maternity ward nurse asked my wife if she needed to go to the bathroom.
She says, "yeah, I could stand to pee."

I said, "No, you should probably still sit so it doesn't get everywhere."
I was in the hospital the other day and the nurse asked how I was doing; I told her I was fine until my bladder had to go and get infected.
I mean, the gall...
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
25 Years For Being Lazy
25 Years For Being Lazy In a prison in China, prisoners are discussing who's in for what and for how long. "Hey, Zhang- what are you in for?" Zhang: "Strangled my wife's lover to death. Got 15 years. How about you, Wei?" Wei: "I got 10 years for robbery and stabbing. What about you, Wang?" Wang: "I got 5 years for attempted rape. What about you, Liu?" Liu: "25 years for being lazy." All the other prisoners: "WHAT?! HOW?" Liu sighs. "Well, my neighbor and I were playing Go and after few shots of wine, started telling jokes about Jinping and the government. After my neighbor left, I thought to myself: "I should go to the government and report him". But it was late and I was tired, so I decided to go just wait until the morning and went to sleep.  My neighbor, on the other hand, wasn't as lazy..."
Why did the bunny go to the hospital?
Because he needed a hopperation.
Why did the Meteorologist go to hospital?
He was feeling under the weather.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
because it felt crumby.
Why did the little birdie go to the hospital?
To get tweetment.