Opinion Jokes

I find that a duck’s opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread.
Mitch Hedberg
What do you call a man with an opinion? Wrong.
Hey I need a female opinion - what do you think would look better on me, this or this?
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
I only like smooth leather
and my opinion will never be suede.
You are now sailed into the north of my lady’s opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman’s beard.
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass." - Mac MacGuff in Juno
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
The International Survey A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure, because... In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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