What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
The Caterpillars and Their Escape
The Caterpillars and Their Escape Two caterpillars are escaping a spider. They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped… "Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and uses them to steer the branch through the air with grace and finesse. "That's amazing!!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the hell are you doing that?!" The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the only one in the whole darn forest who knows how to drive a stick!?"
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
What happened when the knife went for a drive?
It took a sharp turn.
What type of car does a cowboy drive?
Audi partner.
What type of car does a cowboy drive?
Audi partner.
What vehicle does a grammar teacher drive?
A Syllabus.
Little Johnny and Jesus Christ
Little Johnny and Jesus Christ A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, "He was born in a manger." Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple." Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it." Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?" "From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
How do you drive a man crazy? A. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
To Each Their Own Car...
To Each Their Own Car... Three guys are talking in a bar one day. They start talking about how their cars reflect their careers. The first guy says, "I'm a pimp and so I drive a cheap Escort." The second guy says, "I'm a herpetologist and so I drive a Dodge Viper." The third guy says, "I'm a proctologist, and I drive a brown Probe."