"A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first."
"Common sense is not a gift. It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it."
Anonymous
"It is the dull man who is always sure and the sure man who is always dull."
— H.L. Mencken
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder!”
Anonymous
"Technology is getting smarter and smarter: smartphones, smartwatches, smart homes… Only people remain stupid no matter what."
- Anna LeMind
“I am responsible for what I say but I’m not responsible for what you understand.”
Anonymous
“My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.”
- Jon Bon Jovi
"I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying."
- Oscar Wilde
“My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.”
"The more you know, the dumber you sound to stupid people."
Anonymous
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
- Albert Einstein
“Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it’s natural.”
- Shaquille O’Neal
“My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.”
“To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it.”
- George Bernard Shaw
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."
Anonymous
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
- Mark Twain
"There’s nothing more tedious than seeing how a person shows his intellect, especially if there isn’t any."
- Erich Maria Remarque
“Every man is a d*** fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.”
― Elbert Hubbard
"I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth."
Anonymous
“Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
– George Carlin
“Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.”
- Elbert Hubbard
“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
- Chuck Nevitt
“I think if we tell people that the brain is an app, they will start using it.”
Anonymous
“A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says can never be accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.”
- Bertrand Russell
“If being awesome was a crime, I would be serving a life sentence.”
Anonymous
“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
– Scott Adams
“If pessimism is despair, optimism is cowardice and stupidity. Is there any need to choose between them?”
- Francis Parker Yockey
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
- Alan Dundes
“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”
“Scientists say the world is made of protons, neutrons, and electrons. they forgot to mention morons.”
Anonymous
“Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.”
- P. J. O’Rourke
“Stupid people will mistake your confidence for arrogance.”
- Habeeb Akande
"I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm."
Anonymous
“The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still ‘this nonsense.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
- A. A. Milne
"One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, nothin' can beat teamwork."
- Edward Abbey
"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
Anonymous
“People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools.”
- Alice Walker
"The dumbest people I know are those who Know It All."
– Malcolm Forbes
"Don’t believe everything you think."
Anonymous
"The first thing you learn in life is you’re a fool. The last thing you learn in life is you’re the same fool."
Anonymous
“We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.”
Antonymous
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”
Anonymous
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.”
- Jack Handey
"Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
Anonymous
"Don’t worry about what other people think. They don’t do it very often."
Anonymous
“There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.”
Anonymous
“The downside of playing dumb is that you sound dumb.”
- Rachel Maddow
“The problem with the world is that everyone does not have a brain, but everyone does have a tongue.”
- Raheel Farooq
“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”
- Edith Sitwell
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