“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
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