“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome