“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous