“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
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