“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
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