“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing