“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
Go to BabaMail
