“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
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