“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
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