“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long