“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Namastay 6 feet away.” – Unknown
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."
Marshall Brickman
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
“People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools.”
- Alice Walker
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
"Calming the mind is yoga. Not just standing on the head."
- Swami Satchidananda
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.”
— Anne Raver
"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.” —Jean Kerr
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Erma Bombeck
"The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk."
- Ogden Nash
“I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.”
Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”
- Buddy Hackett.
"I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam. -- George Carlin
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.”
– Nora Ephron
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
- Marilyn Monroe
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
- Alan Dundes
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” — Ambrose Bierce
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is because they have a common enemy.” - Anonymous
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run."
Jumbo Elliot
“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Sagittarians are not normally sentimental; however, they can get really attached to a favorite sweater that has seen better days.”
— Therrie Rosenvald
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”—Jean Illsley Clarke
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
Go to BabaMail
