"I always say “Morning” instead of “Good Morning”. If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people."
– Unknown
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Do what we can, summer will have its flies.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
“We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” —George Carlin
“I love cleaning up messes I didn’t make. So I became a Mom.” – Unknown
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
- Terry Pratchett.
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey." -Unknown
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
“Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies.” – Amanda Brooks
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal."
— Oprah Winfrey
"Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage."
- Ambrose Bierce
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.” —Stephen Colbert
“Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.”
— Unknown
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”—Jean Illsley Clarke
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Alan Dundes
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." — Erich Segal
“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” —Rick Reilly
“On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.”
Anonymous
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- Dorothy Parker
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
Steven Wright
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"You get two for the price of one when you are a Gemini."
— Karan Johar
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.”
-Dave Barry
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
- Mad Magazine
"Love thy neighbor, just watch out for thy husband." - Unknown
“The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.”
Mark Twain
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”
- Marshall McLuhan.
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”—Anonymous
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
Go to BabaMail
