“Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’”
— Cookie Monster
"Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand." - Unknown
“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
“Where are we? About halfway…to somewhere.”
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
- David Frost.
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. -- Mark Twain
“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates
“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.”
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.” – Lindy Hughes
"Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position." — Christopher Marlowe
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
— J.R.R. Tolkien
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” —Prince Philip
"Children are a great comfort in your old age- and they help you reach it faster too." – Lionel Kauffman
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
"I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining."
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
“If the winter is too cold and the summer is too hot, you are not a hiker.”
"The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.”
“Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.”
- Paul Reiser.
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"I love you in a way that's nauseating to others."
- Unknown
“No matter how smart you are, you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.”
Anonymous
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
" Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." — Henny Youngman
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde
"The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians."
— Steve Forbes
“Good Morning! Open your mouth wide! I’ll just keep going and put that coffee right in there!”
– Unknown
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”—Mae West
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“I do yoga to burn off the crazy” — Anonymous
"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Let’s face it, I only practice yoga because the classes are always packed with beautiful women.” — Adam Levine
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”
Anonymous
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
- Lane Olinghouse.
“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” - Cindy Garner
"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
- Bob Hope
“Namastay 6 feet away.” – Unknown