"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”
— Unknown
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”
- Corey Ford.
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
Phyllis Diller
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
“In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food."
- Billy Crystal
“I tried yoga once but took off for the mall halfway through class, as I had a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace.” – Terri Guillemets
“Demanding something from a Scorpio is a sure way to not have it happen.”
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.”
— Moss Hart
"One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, nothin' can beat teamwork."
- Edward Abbey
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.” — Alexander Pope
“Gardeners know the best dirt.”
— Anonymous
“Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”
— Unknown
"I can't make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75." — Rob Delaney
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." Charles M. Schulz, creator of Peanuts
“If you need me, I’ll be inside until April.”
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X rays, but you know it's there." George Burns
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“When a stupid man is doing something, he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
“To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. ” — W.J. Vogel
"The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians."
— Steve Forbes
“My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.”
Jimmy Carter
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”—Richard Lewis
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
“The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.”
Mark Twain
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
Go to BabaMail
