"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison