“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
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