“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
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