“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason