“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
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