“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
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