“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
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