"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
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