“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
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