“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
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