"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
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