"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
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