"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov