"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
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