"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
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