“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
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