"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
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