“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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