"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
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