“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox