"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
---
"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille