"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
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