"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
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