"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick