"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
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