"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn