“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“A man’s womenfolk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.”
- H. L. Mencken.
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson