“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”
- Ugo Betti
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé