“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”—Ogden Nash
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”
- Ugo Betti
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown