Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
We should make like your parents and split.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Can we still share a netflix account?
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
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