Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
We're donion rings.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
I think we need to become better strangers.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
You looked better when I was drunk.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
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