Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
"You deserve better and so do I."
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
"It's not me, it's you!"
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
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