If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
Are you a lumberjack?
Why, because I give you wood?
No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans.
Are you a banker?
Because you need to leave me a loan.
You're like Newton's laws.
Not perfect, but good enough.
Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
I'd like to get you wet. At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
Your name must be Calculus Homework, because I have no interest in doing you.
Woah! You look like I need a drink.
I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke.
If I could rearrange the alphabet...
I'd leave it the way it is.
So how many cats do you have?
Are you a fortune cookie?
Because you're always wrong.
Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.
Are you a fire detector?
Because you're loud and annoying.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.