Do you know Santa?
Because you're not what I wanted for Christmas.
Are you a banker?
Because you need to leave me a loan.
Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won't do it.
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.
Your name must be Calculus Homework, because I have no interest in doing you.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.
Camel called.
He wants his toe back.
From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
Are you a lumberjack?
Why, because I give you wood?
No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans.
Are you a cigarette?
Because when I'm done with your butt I'm gonna throw it away.
Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.
Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?
Are you a fire detector?
Because you're loud and annoying.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.
Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
I'd like to get you wet. At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
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