Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
Camel called.
He wants his toe back.
Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won't do it.
Are you a cigarette?
Because when I'm done with your butt I'm gonna throw it away.
I'd like to get you wet. At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
Woah! You look like I need a drink.
You're like Newton's laws.
Not perfect, but good enough.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke.
Do you have a library card?
So you can check me out?
No, because my cat just died and I need to find a book about cat funerals.
Do you like wine?
Because that's all your doing.
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
Roses are red
Violets are cheaper
If I leave silent voicemails
Please don’t call me a creeper.
If you were a math test, I would cheat on you.
Hey girl, are you a broom?
Why, because I swept you off your feet?
No, because you're really hairy.
I have to say “Hi” to the prettiest girl in the room… can you help me say “Hi” to that girl over there?
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