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vichy carrots ingredients Jokes

vichy carrots ingredients Jokes and more.
Dinosaur Puns
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Food Poems
Roses are red, I’m not wearing a suit,
Carrots are not vegetables, they are actually fruit.
Do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you,
With your turnip nose
And your radish face,
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry:
Weed make a swell pear.
Soup Puns
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
Horse Puns
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Food Quotes
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
Vegetable Puns
Keep calm and carrot on.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Ear Puns
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
Funny Love Poems
Do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you,
With your turnip nose
And your radish face,
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry:
Weed make a swell pear.
Yard Puns
Two snowmen were standing in a yard. One asked the other, "Do you smell carrot?" The other snowman replied, "No, but I can taste coal."
Turkey Puns
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Food Pick Up Lines
You're my missing ingredient.
Otter Puns
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Lettuce Puns
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
Cat Puns
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
One Liners for Kids
Did you hear about the carrot detective? He got to the root of every case.
What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Salad Puns
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Orange Puns
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
Soap Puns
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
Unicorn Puns
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
Doctor Puns
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. “What’s wrong with me doc?” He asks.
“It’s easy, you're not eating properly.” the doctors replies.
Banana puns
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Funny Family Poems
"Something Went Wrong in Our Family Tree"

Something went wrong in our family tree
When I look at you, cousin, it's plain to see.
You've got big ears like a chimpanzee,
But I guess that backfires 'cause it's the same with me.

Your two front teeth remind me of a rabbit,
You should stop munching carrots; it's become a habit.
If I want one, I have to move quick and grab it.
Come to think of it, your teeth look like mine, dag-nabbit!

Now your eyes look just a little bit screwy,
Guess you must have inherited them from Grandpa Louie.
But my eyes are kind of cock-eyed and just a bit droopy,
So I guess we've got that in common too, oh poopie!

I think my critique of your appearance is done.
Since we look so much alike, it's no longer any fun.
I've got one last thing to say in front of everyone,
Gosh, you're a good lookin' son-of-a-gun!

– Kelly Roper
Bat Puns
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Color Puns
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
Rabbit Puns
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
Winter Puns
Everyone teased the snowman for having a pointy nose, but he didn’t carrot all.
Pea Puns
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
One Liners and Short Jokes
What is invisible and smells like carrots?
A Rabbit's flatulence.
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
Snow Puns
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?

Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Food puns
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
The Old Woman and the Shopkeeper
An elderly woman visited a store that sold jade and requested seven kilograms of potatoes. The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with. The woman then requested four kilograms of onions to be wrapped in a similar manner. The shop owner packed the onions and asked if there was anything else. The woman requested seven kilograms of carrots. "Let me guess," said the owner with a sour face, "you want them wrapped individually." "Oh, that would be grand." she said. The shop owner fulfilled her request and packed all her items in a bag. The woman then asked: "What are in those crates behind you?" The man flushed red and said "Madam, these are grapes and they are not for sale!"
Funny Health Quotes
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
Garden Quotes
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
— Anonymous
"What did the carrot say to the wheat?
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."
- Shel Silverstein
Star Puns
What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda
The Horse and the Chicken
A man faces a violation for adding horse meat to the chicken stew in his restaurant. At the court he’s asked why he did it and how much horse meat was in those stew. “For the money of course and I solemnly swear I always kept the ratio 50:50!” While the infraction caused many unhappy customers, upon seeing the man’s honesty the judge decides not to revoke his license. However he in turn must always advertise that horse is part of the ingredients. With a sigh of relief, the restaurant owner pays the fine and walks out of the court house with his wife and friend He friend asked him “Did you really put horse meat or did you add anything else with the chicken?” “Nope. Only horse meat and chicken”. “Now tell me the truth man, come on, it was mostly horse meat wasn’t it?” “Nope. It was always 50:50... one horse per one chicken.”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” —Jim Davis
Easter Puns
"Just don't carrot all."
"I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny."
"You might not carrot all, but you're irresistible."
Parrot Puns
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Zombie Puns
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Kitchen Puns
I have a phobia of using the wrong amounts of ingredients when I’m cooking
So I’ve been taking measures to deal with it.
Spice Puns
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
Funny Animal Poems For Kids
"My Dog"

My family got a new dog.
Its fur is short and white.
I absolutely love him,
but something is not right.

His ears are soft and long
and flop along the side.
His tail is quite short
But also very wide.

He’s positively quiet.
He never makes a sound.
He’s got a real cute jump
when I put him on the ground.

I’m sure when he grows up.
He’ll be massively strong.
His favorite food’s carrots
He eats them all day long!

– Steve Hanson