What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!