I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Where are sharks from?
Finland!