What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.