“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell