“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."