“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright