“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
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