"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
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