“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark