"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
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