“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
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