“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
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