Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
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