Sell Jokes

A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I think it was Scampoo.
I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.
I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
The Farmer and the Unruly Cow A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his beer. "What's up, John?" asked the farmer. "Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonna have to close my shop." "Now John, things could be worse," said Bob. "How do you figure?" asked John. "Well, John - you know my 'ornery cow, Bessie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept flicking her tail in my face. So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the rafter. Then, the nasty thing went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me! But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall. Well wouldn't you just know it...my damn pants fell down." "And John, if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you."
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
Are you a motorcycle? Because I'd like to ride you all day, and then sell you for a newer model.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
A Blonde By Any Other Name A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that TV." The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that TV." Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes." So she left again and came back with a hat, a fake nose and with her hair dyed black and said: "I want that TV." But the salesman still said: "sorry, we don't sell to blondes." Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How do you keep guessing I'm a blonde?!" she asked. "Because that's a microwave."
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
I'm always really disappointed when I pull up to a yard sale...
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yards.
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