Blue Jokes

Girl, you must be blue because you’re the hottest star around right now.
The Old Lady and the Bold Question A little old lady with blue hair entered a se* shop and asked in a quivering voice, “Yy-youuuung man, dd-do y-you, sell-l d-didildoes h-hhhere?” The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop answered, “Uh, yes ma’am, we do.” The little lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, “Dddd-do y-you ha-ave any ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?” “Well... yes ma’am, a few of them are about that big.” “D-do aa-ny of them ha-ave a v-v-v-vibra-a-ator?” “Yes ma’am, one of them does.” “W-w-ell, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?”
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
Propranolol is red, digoxin is blue. My heart skips a beat when I see you.
oses are red, violets are blue,
Coffee is bitter, and so are you.
Roses are red, and violets are blue,
Your spaghetti is overcooked, it sticks like glue.
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
You are more precious than my blue suede shoes
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!
The sun is up. The sky is blue. It's beautiful and so are you.
Roses are red, Violet are blue. What would you do. If I fell in love with you?
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
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