Inches

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?
There was a young lady from Kew
Who said, as the bishop withdrew
Oh the Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And four inches longer than you.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
"Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy."
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”

That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
What's 6 inches long, pink and makes my girlfriend moan all day?
Her tongue.
What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? About three inches.
What's 6 inches long and starts with a p? A sh*t (think about it)
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!