Seat

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Yo mama so fat she has to put her boobs in the back seat to drive.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
A Blonde on a Train
A Blonde on a Train The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?" "Not really," she replied. "I'm nauseated from sitting backward on the train." "Poor dear," he said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?" "I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.

The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
Is this seat saved? Because I am.
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."