Nose Jokes

Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
I was under the blues, so I had to blue my nose occasionally.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
The Real Laws of the Universe LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR Once your hands become coated with grease or paint, your nose will begin to itch. ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM When you dial a wrong number, you NEVER get an engaged tone. CANNON'S KARMIC LAW If you tell your boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tyre. O'BRIEN'S VARIATION LAW If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Same goes for car lanes. BELL'S THEOREM The moment your body is immersed in water, the phone rings. RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. WILLOUGHBY'S LAW When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. BREDA'S RULE At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last. OWEN'S LAW As soon as you sit down for a hot cup of coffee, someone will want to talk to you until the precise moment your coffee is cold...
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound.
He said, "He can't have my nose, I need it!"
I smelled you down the street, and my nose brought me right to you.
A Poem by a Cat

I lick your nose
I lick your nose again
I drag my claws down your eyelids
Oh, you're up? Feed me.
There was a young lady of Kent.
Whose nose was most awfully bent.
She followed her nose,
One day, I suppose,
And no one knows which way she went.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
Are you Rudolph’s red nose? Because baby, I would say you glow.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy