Agent Jokes

Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
The Importance of a College Education A father is lecturing his son about the importance of a good education. “Dad, what’s the difference between a man with a college degree and a man without?” Said the son. “Well son,” said the father, “you can perform the same job but the outcome will vary depending if you have a college degree or not!” “How so?” Asked the Son “You see, if you rob a man without a college degree you will be prosecuted as a criminal and sent to jail”. “What if I rob a man after I received a college degree?” Asked the son “In that case they will address you as Special Agent of the IRS.”
"I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract."
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
What do you call a detective who is also a real estate agent?
Sherlock Homes
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
If you were a TSA agent, I would be happy to get a body scan.
Are you a customs agent? I feel like I need to declare my love to you.
The Drug Sniffing Dog man settles in his seat next to the window on a plane, when another man sits down next to him and seats his Black Labrador Retriever in-between them. The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why he's allowed on the plane. The second man explains that he's a DEA-Agent, Sniffing-dog. His name is Sniffer, and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work." The plane takes off, and once it has levelled out, the agent says "Watch this. He tells Sniffer to 'search'". Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm. The agent says, "Good boy", and he turns to the man and says: "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land." "Say, that's pretty neat." replies the first man. Once again, the agent sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and this time, he places TWO paws on the agent's arm. The agent says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I m making a note of his seat number for the police." "I like it!" says his seat mate. The agent then tells Sniffer to "search" again. Sniffer walks up and down the aisles for a little while, sits down for a moment, and then comes racing back to the agent, jumps into the middle seat and proceeds to poop all over the place. The first man is really grossed out by this behaviour and can't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would act like that, so he asks the agent, "What's going on?" The agent nervously replies, "He just found a bomb!"
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