Lunch

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Two 4's.
Two 4's who?
No need to make lunch we already 8.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
God is Watching
God is Watching The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic primary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Hey, we can take all we want. God is watching the apples."
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
A man gets up and heads off to work despondent that not one member of his family has wished him Happy Birthday. What an ungrateful lot he thinks.

When he gets to work his attractive secretary asks him what’s wrong and he explains.

“Why don’t I take you out to lunch to cheer you up,” she says.

After a lovely lunch and a couple of glasses of champagne, she says do you mind if we drop into my apartment on the way home.

Interested, he replies,” Sure!”

At her apartment she smiles, fixes him a drink, and then says, “I just have to slip into the bedroom for a minute.”

In a moment she’s back with a birthday cake, his family and all his friends.

And there’s him lying naked on the couch.
Going to Hooters
Going to Hooters Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to New York and the other to Washington. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other. At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch. "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why Hooters?" "They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs." "You're on." At age 42, they meet and play golf again "Where you wanna go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Again? Why?" "They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games." "OK." At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Why?" "The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking." "OK." At age 62 they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why?" "Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy." "Good choice" At age 72 they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Why?" "They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts." "Great choice." At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Why?" "Because we've never been there before." “Okay, let’s give it a try."
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.