Canary-birds feed on sugar and seed, Parrots have crackers to crunch; And, as for the poodles, they tell me the noodles Have chickens and cream for their lunch. But there’s never a question About MY digestion— Anything does for me!
Cats, you’re aware, can repose in a chair, Chickens can roost upon rails; Puppies are able to sleep in a stable, And oysters can slumber in pails. But no one supposes A poor Camel dozes— Any place does for me!
People would laugh if you rode a giraffe, Or mounted the back of an ox; It’s nobody’s habit to ride on a rabbit, Or try to bestraddle a fox. But as for a Camel, he’s Ridden by families— Any load does for me!
(Charles E. Carryl)
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six, Grooms itself using its tongue and licks. I give it breakfast with a friendly pat. That's the daily morning of my cat.
Returns for lunch at one o' clock. Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk. Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat. That's the daily afternoon of my cat.
Naps after lunch outside my door. Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores. Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat. That's the daily evening of my cat.
Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner. Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner? Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat. That's the daily night of my cat.
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant.
One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
"What are you doing?!" he yells
"My coat fell in!" his buddy yells back
"You're not really gonna wear that again are you?!" his friend said worriedly.
"No, no. Gosh no!" Says the old man to the relief of his friend.
"I have to get it back though. My teeth are in the pocket!"
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic primary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray,
"Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, "Hey, we can take all we want.
God is watching the apples."
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to New York and the other to Washington. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs."
At age 42, they meet and play golf again "Where you wanna go for lunch?"
"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."
At age 62 they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, "Where
you wanna go?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."
At age 72 they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one
says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they
have senior discounts."
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Because we've never been there before."
“Okay, let’s give it a try."
For breakfast I had ice cream With pickles sliced up in it; For lunch, some greasy pork chops Gobbled in a minute; Dinner? Clams and orange pop, And liverwurst, slicked thick--- And now, oops! Oh pardon me! I'm going to be sick!
Two cannibal friends were sitting together for lunch, sipping their tea.
Then one asked the other:
"Hey, I heard you and your boyfriend had a big fight last night?"
"Yes, that's right."
"So how are things between you right now?"
"Well... right now..."
The cannibal stopped to take a sip of her tea.
"Right now I'm letting him stew..."