Blow Jokes

The Samurai Feud In Feudal Japan, 2 Samurai families are constantly at war... One day, the eldest sons of the two Families got together and decided to put a stop to all the fighting and bloodshed between their clans. To the dismay of their closest relatives and companions, the two announce that they had agreed - they were going to have a duel to the death. The winner would bring his family glory, and the other family would be forced to leave the territory for good. The night before the duel, the Father of one clan approached his son and asked him why he decided to do this. Surely there was another way. The son responded he could no longer stand the fighting, and would rather die than deal with it any longer. Besides, he was older and knew he could easily best the eldest son of the opposing clan. He also had a superior disarming technique and could quickly end it all. He was certain of his victory. He continued to meditate and focus until the very moment of the duel. He could practically visualize the battle. He knew his opponents every move- he had spied on the past training sessions of his rookie opponent, and knew his every weakness. He was ready. When the time came, he donned his gear and made his way to the Arena. They approached each other from opposing ends. They stopped. Both bowed low in respect. Then as they lifted their heads back up, it was a flurry of sparks and slashes as the two went head to head. Such a display of combative grace had never been seen before. Both were clearly masters of their craft. As they continued to exchange blows, the older of the two saw his opening and struck. The younger fighter's sword hand had been lost. However, at that very moment the sword spun in a way that cut off both legs of the older fighter, dropping him to the floor in a splatter of blood. The younger fighter reached down and picked his sword back up with his left hand and finished his downed opponent in a quick display of mercy. Later, as the Heads of both clans met to sign their peace treaty, the Father of the older fighter approached the younger fighter. He told him that he held no animosity toward him - he fought valiantly to the very end. He only blamed his own son's foolishness, and as he walked away he muttered sadly to himself, "I just don't understand where he went wrong. He was supposed to be the greatest Samurai of our time..." To which the younger fighter responded: "He was indeed an excellent fighter, but while he was focused on disarming me, I simply focused on de-feeting him."
Another candle on your cake?
Well, that's no cause to pout.
Be glad that you have strength enough
To blow the d*** thing out.
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Sorry, did you fart? You blow me away!
I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
It was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?
He destroyed it while trying to blow out the candles.
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
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